Waffles and Chocolate
Date: September 27, 2006
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Hygiene Condition: Pleasantly ripe
Left for Brussels 2 days ago, Sept. 25. Good flights. United Airlines good. Two-leg journey: Raleigh-Washington D.C.-Brussels. Total flight time: 9 hours. Both flights take off on time, land early. Planes really time machines? Likely. Hope for Delorean next time. Or phone booth.
Jamaican lady sitting next to me on first flight gets in fight with both flight attendants. Good. She will not stow her purse overhead during landing. Flight attendants scandalized. For people who travel for a living, they really need to get out more. Ensuing argument lasts 20 minutes. Lady threatens to report flight attendents. Flight attendents go tell Captain on her. Flight attendents get "Flight Attendent Manual" to show her just how very officially she is wrong. Will is surprised that there is such a thing as a "Flight Attendent Manual." Effeminate male flight attendent makes various comments about how the purse might become a 'projectile' during an emergency. Despite best efforts, Will breaks into hysterical laughter. Flight attendents not amused.
My first view of Europe: the lights of Dover by night. Very pretty. With old man, swap anecdotes about how Ypres is a funny name for a city. Have now been up for 16 hours.
Land in Brussels at 6:30 AM. Hallway leading away from gate half a mile long with no doors or branching halls. Why so long? Signs insisting that Belgium is the "Heart of Europe" grow increasingly mesmirizing.
Time going through customs: 15 seconds. After weeks of concern and preparation, gathering proper onward/return tickets, proof of financial stability, and talking with Belgian consulate on phone to ensure easy transition, customs officer only looks at passport. "First time in Belgium?" Stupid dumb accent. "Yes." "On vacation?" "Yes." Stamps passport, waves me through. Seriously, is this a fucking joke? These people couldn't keep a cow out of their country. Oh, good... past baggage claim is a second customs area. Surely this will hold dedicated, vigilant lawmen. Untrue. Second customs area is really just a windy hallway, completely unmanned. Not even any questions. Maybe they're just trying to keep out really dizzy people. Can't complain, though... lax border policies mean likelihood of being able to spend more time with Jen in Spring increases. Very good.
Handy dandy Lonely Planet guide says take train to Gare Centrale (Center Station). Do so. Three people on train platform.
In Europe one hour. So far avoided being imprisoned in Russian gulag. Very good.
First view of Belgium very bleak. Dawn cloudy and foggy. Train yard very dingy, in an overgrown-weeds-bad-Flemmish-graffiti-rusty-I-beams-sticking-out-of-the-ground kind of way. Desperately trying to understand French conductor to find when my stop is coming up.
Get off train at correct stop, first try. Handy dandy Lonely Planet guide says "Screw you," refuses to give good directions to hostel. Take best guess, wander down street. Guess turns out to be decent. A little lost in Brussels Park, kindly Belgian woman points me in right direction. Another mile to go. Carrying 54 pounds of stuff on back. Not used to this. Now been up for 19 hours. On good side, park very pretty.
Arrive at hostel, check in. Cannot get into room until 2:00 PM. Stupid cleaning ladies. Oh, well. Room is 13 Euro/night, you get what you pay for. Stow stuff in locker, go for walk.
Hostel is in Turkish quarter of Brussels. Good for many cheap and delicious kebap shops. Local time: 10:30 AM. My body says it is 4:30 AM. Bad juju.
Too tired to do anything. Spend rest of day trying to buy voltage adapter and sleeping. Why does no store sell voltage adapter. Many tourists given proverbial finger. Very happy to pass out after 32 hours awake.
September 26, waken at approximately 7:00. Big German guy walks heavily, shakes beds in shared room. Left watch at home (bad Will), have to tell time by sun. Too early. Go back to sleep. Rewake at 8:00 AM, get up. Go downstairs for measley (but complimentary) continental breakfast. Hot chocolate very good. Eat with two girls: Gabriella (Chilean) and Kat (Australian). Quite entertaining.
Go exploring with Gabriella. She is good company. Brussels weird fucking city. Gold-domed palaces and steepled gothic churches right next to glass skyscraper office buildings along 6-lane boulevards, then immediately turn around to find little alley-streets lined with Mom-and-Pop restaurants. Quite charming. First go through Brussels Park. Much better this time with no heavy backpack. Give finger to central fountain. Right next to park is Royal Palace. Give finger to that one, too. Saying "fuck you" to Europe starting quite well. Gabriella thinks flipping off everything is funny, takes pictures for me.
One overlook of southern Brussels puts us at roof level to the buildings immediately in front of us. I am fairly sure we could make it all the way to the Grand Place hopping only from rooftop to rooftop, Batman style. Decide not to, to avoid death. Very good. Miss Fennell and Ornoff, though. They would jump rooftops with me.
Stop in Belgian chocolatier, eat free samples. Jesus H. Christ in a Chicken Basket, chocolate is good. Very different from American chocolate. Creamier. So many chocolate shops around Grand Place. Good tourist poaching, I suppose.
National icon of Belgium is a statue of a toddler taking a piss. So totally not making this up. Statue about 12 inches tall, pees into a pool. WTF, mate? Statue's name: Mannakin-Pis. So totally not making that up, either. Sensibly, I give statue the finger.
Our Lady of Sanlon Church very beautiful and big. Chairs facing both ways instead of pews, though. Why would people face the back of the church?
Next to church is a park with pretty flowers and statues that honors some guy. Can't read gold memorial plaque (In French and Flemmish), but fairly certain it has something to do with him being condemed and decapticated. Belgians build park to honor decapitated criminal? Liking Belgians more by the minute.
Arcades of Grand Place very intimate and romantic, despite being shopping center. Miss Jenny.
Head back to hostel, grabbing donor pita for lunch on the way. Cheap, hot, filling, tasty. Kebap shops have tendency to put fries on the sandwich/wrap itself, not on the side. And corn on hamburgers. Delicious.
Take shower and spend rest of evening drinking and talking with Kat and Gabriella. Buy 4 Euro bottle of champagne and drink it all my self. Delicious. Must be careful, though. Almost hit self in eye with flying cork. Champagne very dangerous. Joined by Canadian guys (Francisco and Tim). Very good guys. Nice discussion about what it means to travel. Tim recommends JET program to teach English in Japan. Sounds like excellent idea even sober. Must convince Jen to go to Japan after law school.
Kat and Tim are first interviewees for "The Suitcase Life." Very enthused. No experience making documentaries, but since when did not knowing what the hell I'm doing stop me?
Battery on camera dangerously low. Must find voltage adapter, or all is lost. Also, can't tell precise time without watch. All watches in Belgium extremely expensive. Solution: theft?
Bed time now. Early day tomorrow.
Progress thus far:
Countries visited: 1
Stupid tourist moments: 2
Monuments flipped off: 3
Free food ganked: 2
the past is gone, but something might be found to take its place.
-gin blossoms
Location: Brussels, Belgium
Hygiene Condition: Pleasantly ripe
Left for Brussels 2 days ago, Sept. 25. Good flights. United Airlines good. Two-leg journey: Raleigh-Washington D.C.-Brussels. Total flight time: 9 hours. Both flights take off on time, land early. Planes really time machines? Likely. Hope for Delorean next time. Or phone booth.
Jamaican lady sitting next to me on first flight gets in fight with both flight attendants. Good. She will not stow her purse overhead during landing. Flight attendants scandalized. For people who travel for a living, they really need to get out more. Ensuing argument lasts 20 minutes. Lady threatens to report flight attendents. Flight attendents go tell Captain on her. Flight attendents get "Flight Attendent Manual" to show her just how very officially she is wrong. Will is surprised that there is such a thing as a "Flight Attendent Manual." Effeminate male flight attendent makes various comments about how the purse might become a 'projectile' during an emergency. Despite best efforts, Will breaks into hysterical laughter. Flight attendents not amused.
My first view of Europe: the lights of Dover by night. Very pretty. With old man, swap anecdotes about how Ypres is a funny name for a city. Have now been up for 16 hours.
Land in Brussels at 6:30 AM. Hallway leading away from gate half a mile long with no doors or branching halls. Why so long? Signs insisting that Belgium is the "Heart of Europe" grow increasingly mesmirizing.
Time going through customs: 15 seconds. After weeks of concern and preparation, gathering proper onward/return tickets, proof of financial stability, and talking with Belgian consulate on phone to ensure easy transition, customs officer only looks at passport. "First time in Belgium?" Stupid dumb accent. "Yes." "On vacation?" "Yes." Stamps passport, waves me through. Seriously, is this a fucking joke? These people couldn't keep a cow out of their country. Oh, good... past baggage claim is a second customs area. Surely this will hold dedicated, vigilant lawmen. Untrue. Second customs area is really just a windy hallway, completely unmanned. Not even any questions. Maybe they're just trying to keep out really dizzy people. Can't complain, though... lax border policies mean likelihood of being able to spend more time with Jen in Spring increases. Very good.
Handy dandy Lonely Planet guide says take train to Gare Centrale (Center Station). Do so. Three people on train platform.
In Europe one hour. So far avoided being imprisoned in Russian gulag. Very good.
First view of Belgium very bleak. Dawn cloudy and foggy. Train yard very dingy, in an overgrown-weeds-bad-Flemmish-graffiti-rusty-I-beams-sticking-out-of-the-ground kind of way. Desperately trying to understand French conductor to find when my stop is coming up.
Get off train at correct stop, first try. Handy dandy Lonely Planet guide says "Screw you," refuses to give good directions to hostel. Take best guess, wander down street. Guess turns out to be decent. A little lost in Brussels Park, kindly Belgian woman points me in right direction. Another mile to go. Carrying 54 pounds of stuff on back. Not used to this. Now been up for 19 hours. On good side, park very pretty.
Arrive at hostel, check in. Cannot get into room until 2:00 PM. Stupid cleaning ladies. Oh, well. Room is 13 Euro/night, you get what you pay for. Stow stuff in locker, go for walk.
Hostel is in Turkish quarter of Brussels. Good for many cheap and delicious kebap shops. Local time: 10:30 AM. My body says it is 4:30 AM. Bad juju.
Too tired to do anything. Spend rest of day trying to buy voltage adapter and sleeping. Why does no store sell voltage adapter. Many tourists given proverbial finger. Very happy to pass out after 32 hours awake.
September 26, waken at approximately 7:00. Big German guy walks heavily, shakes beds in shared room. Left watch at home (bad Will), have to tell time by sun. Too early. Go back to sleep. Rewake at 8:00 AM, get up. Go downstairs for measley (but complimentary) continental breakfast. Hot chocolate very good. Eat with two girls: Gabriella (Chilean) and Kat (Australian). Quite entertaining.
Go exploring with Gabriella. She is good company. Brussels weird fucking city. Gold-domed palaces and steepled gothic churches right next to glass skyscraper office buildings along 6-lane boulevards, then immediately turn around to find little alley-streets lined with Mom-and-Pop restaurants. Quite charming. First go through Brussels Park. Much better this time with no heavy backpack. Give finger to central fountain. Right next to park is Royal Palace. Give finger to that one, too. Saying "fuck you" to Europe starting quite well. Gabriella thinks flipping off everything is funny, takes pictures for me.
One overlook of southern Brussels puts us at roof level to the buildings immediately in front of us. I am fairly sure we could make it all the way to the Grand Place hopping only from rooftop to rooftop, Batman style. Decide not to, to avoid death. Very good. Miss Fennell and Ornoff, though. They would jump rooftops with me.
Stop in Belgian chocolatier, eat free samples. Jesus H. Christ in a Chicken Basket, chocolate is good. Very different from American chocolate. Creamier. So many chocolate shops around Grand Place. Good tourist poaching, I suppose.
National icon of Belgium is a statue of a toddler taking a piss. So totally not making this up. Statue about 12 inches tall, pees into a pool. WTF, mate? Statue's name: Mannakin-Pis. So totally not making that up, either. Sensibly, I give statue the finger.Our Lady of Sanlon Church very beautiful and big. Chairs facing both ways instead of pews, though. Why would people face the back of the church?
Next to church is a park with pretty flowers and statues that honors some guy. Can't read gold memorial plaque (In French and Flemmish), but fairly certain it has something to do with him being condemed and decapticated. Belgians build park to honor decapitated criminal? Liking Belgians more by the minute.
Arcades of Grand Place very intimate and romantic, despite being shopping center. Miss Jenny.
Head back to hostel, grabbing donor pita for lunch on the way. Cheap, hot, filling, tasty. Kebap shops have tendency to put fries on the sandwich/wrap itself, not on the side. And corn on hamburgers. Delicious.
Take shower and spend rest of evening drinking and talking with Kat and Gabriella. Buy 4 Euro bottle of champagne and drink it all my self. Delicious. Must be careful, though. Almost hit self in eye with flying cork. Champagne very dangerous. Joined by Canadian guys (Francisco and Tim). Very good guys. Nice discussion about what it means to travel. Tim recommends JET program to teach English in Japan. Sounds like excellent idea even sober. Must convince Jen to go to Japan after law school.
Kat and Tim are first interviewees for "The Suitcase Life." Very enthused. No experience making documentaries, but since when did not knowing what the hell I'm doing stop me?
Battery on camera dangerously low. Must find voltage adapter, or all is lost. Also, can't tell precise time without watch. All watches in Belgium extremely expensive. Solution: theft?
Bed time now. Early day tomorrow.
Progress thus far:
Countries visited: 1
Stupid tourist moments: 2
Monuments flipped off: 3
Free food ganked: 2
the past is gone, but something might be found to take its place.
-gin blossoms
posted by Will Jones at 11:26 AM
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